Generation 2, Chapter 20, Finale Pt 1 of 2

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I always told myself I hated coming here, to the one spot where I knew there was nothing I could do to change anything, but I still kept coming back. No matter how much I starred at my mother’s grave, I knew I’d never see her again. Yet, when I looked at my father’s headstone, why was he the only one that chose to show themselves? Why not my mother? Out of all the advice I could ever think of asking for, she was the one I wanted solace from, the only one who could calm me back down to a more rational state. Out of all the people in my life, my mother was the only one who’s opinion mattered to me. Even my own wife couldn’t do my mind justice and so far, it seemed a little weird to me that even she couldn’t since I’ve been with her for more years than I ever even knew my mother. But, like the old saying goes, mother knows best, I don’t plan on disappointing her anymore. I admit that looking back on all of it now, if I had never lost my parents, my life would more than likely be completely different and probably going up a more genuine and fulfilling path with less chaos and torment, but there was no way to change any of that now. I am where I am, but that’s what scares me so much, too.

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The annoying rain didn’t help my already agitated mood. I should be happy, my father hasn’t showed his soul-quivering face around me since the night that Lucy had gotten home from college, which was roughly a week ago and she’s back there now to take her finals. But what bothered me more was why he suddenly just stopped. He goes as far as to come back from the dead and toy with me from beyond the grave after all the pain he’s already caused me and my sisters. And now, he’s nowhere to be found. What the hell is he trying to prove to me? Why does he try so hard to go out of his way to treat me like this? 

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I came here to talk to my mother, to let go of some stress and to maybe feel like I have nothing to worry about when seeing Mrs. Hughes after all of these years. I took Lucy’s advice and knew something wasn’t right, but I haven’t told anyone that I’m trying to seek help again like when I was little. I wanted to come here and tell my mother my plan to get better, how I won’t let anyone else but me control my life, but I can’t focus. Every glance that I try not to do towards my father’s grave only makes me think about him more and wonder why, out of the passed 4 years of constant torment, was he not here now? I don’t know how long I was standing there, feeling my expressions turn from one emotion to the next as I try to contemplate if I’m doing the right thing. When my father was around, he tried to convince me to do the most unthinkable things and it helped me say no to not only him, but to myself as well. But now, without him here, telling me either to go to Mrs. Hughes or don’t, I don’t know if what I’m about to do is going to be what he wanted or not.

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The longer I stood there, the more I realized that nothing was going to become of itself unless I act. As I looked down to my parent’s graves, the ground below me getting softer and I had sunken in a little to the soil soaked by rain, I decided that it was finally time to leave and try to figure out if going to Mrs. Hughes was the best thing for me. Maybe if I went there just once and see how it went, things might get better, or things might get worse. If they get worse or if I don’t feel some kind of change, I just won’t go there again. If things go well, then maybe there still is a chance for me to let all of this go and just live out a normal life with my family.

I left their graves and went back to my car, turning it on and letting the inside warm up a little before making the fifteen minute drive into the city to see Mrs. Hughes. Even as my fingers grew warm and the heat had brought me back to a comfortable temperature, my hands shook the slightest bit and I rubbed my hands together roughly to get it to stop, or at least to keep me from seeing it.

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I got to Mrs. Hughes’ office and walked in, shutting the door behind me as to not let in anymore of the chilly winds from outside. A grimace took over my face when I looked around and up towards the second floor where I knew she was. I looked back briefly towards the front door and did just as I did when I was here as a child, I looked back at it and contemplated bolting out and not giving this a chance at all. But, the moment I did, I could hear the secretary calling out my name to say Mrs. Hughes was ready for our appointment. My mother was the majority of the reason why I came here in the first place. She’d want me to go. I guess I have my mother’s intuition when it comes to knowing something isn’t quite right with me.

The secretary wasn’t here today. It being a Saturday, this might be her day off, so was Mrs. Hughes here all on her own? The door was open, but maybe they just forgot to lock it? 

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I finally made my hesitant ascent up the stairs and could almost hear my mothers footsteps going up the steps before me, waiting for her to reach back and tousle my hair as to calm me down, knowing I didn’t want to do this. But, I felt nothing. I stepped down the hallway and stopped at Mrs. Hughes’ door, but before going in, I looked over towards the couch by the window and could picture my mother sitting there just as she had done before. I had asked her why she wasn’t coming with me, but she told me I needed privacy. I could hear the next thing she said to me back then over and over in my head now, “Go on, it’ll be fine. I’ll be right out here if you need anything at all..”

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Her words were like a symphony now instead of how it sounded like just a sweet lullaby back then. I could picture her encouraging smile, hear the hum of her soft nature as she gestures me to go forward. At first I was nervous, ashamed a little, even terrified that whatever I said wouldn’t stay behind this closed door and somehow my father would know and only resent me more. My mother’s words repeated again and I took a deep breath, feeling the nerves within me calming again and I was ready to step through the door of the office and try to get help for myself.

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I opened the door slowly and quietly, seeing that the light in her office was on and I knew she was there. I opened it more and the door didn’t so much as creek in the slightest, keeping my presence unknown for the time being. I saw Mrs. Hughes sitting on her sofa, the one I had sat on so long ago and old memories filled my mind as I looked around the room. The room still smelled of old lady perfume that seemed to have gotten more potent and aged over the years, just as Mrs. Hughes had. The last time I had seen her it was at Lana’s funeral and we only had a few-minute chat and then I left. 

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I shut the door behind me quietly and Mrs. Hughes still seemed to not notice me, continuing to stick her nose in the book she was reading and I stepped more into the room. I cleared my throat louder than needed and she looked up, closing her book and adjusting her glasses to try better at making out who I was. “Yes? Can I help you?” She asked and it took me a moment to speak up.

“Mrs. Hughes, it’s Jason.. Dubois?” I eventually replied. 

She squinted her eyes a little to help focus better and soon a smile spread across her lips, “Jason! It’s wonderful to see you!” She said happily, catching me off guard a little, but I soon smirked in return as to not be impolite.

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Mrs. Hughes made her way over to me, holding out her arms and requesting a hug as she continued talking, “My goodness, it’s been years since I’ve seen you. How have you been?” She asks as I hug her in return warmly.

“I’ve been all right.. Lucy is taking her finals now in college.. So are the twins and my youngest daughter in high school.. I couldn’t be more proud, I know they’ll all do wonderful,” I replied with a confident grin.

“My gosh, are they all to that point already? It must be driving you mad with all those young adults running around the house,” she said with a gentle cackle.

“Oh, it’s not so bad.. I love having them around, even if Bennu and I want to rip our hair out sometimes,” I replied with a chuckle, “Enough about me, how about yourself?” I wondered back.

“Good.. Very good, don’t worry about an old woman like me when you already have enough on your shoulders.. You seem well, though, you get more and more handsome every time I see you,” she compliments and I let out a soft chuckle.

“Not as beautiful as you with each passing day,” I replied.

“Oh, come now..” She contested with rosy cheeks, “Well, don’t let my blabbering keep you from making yourself at home. Please, sit, dear,” she offers and I nod in acceptance.

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I took a seat where she was upon the sofa and she took the single chair to my left, the one she always sat in during any of her sessions. “So what brings you back here at this time? Usually I don’t make appointments on Saturdays and just look over my patient files. Or, like you’ve caught me, catching up on a relaxing read,” she chuckled gently.

“Oh, well I apologize for intruding. I was just hoping to catch you and maybe ask for a little help. Like old times,” I answered and her wide smile faded just slightly.

“Like old old times?” She questioned and I nodded. “Well then, please.. Continue. What’s on your mind? The last thing was discussed was you talking about your father, we even tried the hypnosis, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I don’t remember what happened though. You’ll have to remind me,” I replied and she nodded slowly, her eyes wandering around the room as she tried to remember.

“Well.. While in hypnosis, you were in your bedroom and there was a baby boy crying. You couldn’t open the door to leave, you heard your father talking to someone, a dog barking. Your father came in to calm the baby and to get him to go back to sleep. You got a little rattled, hearing your father coming back up the stairs after leaving the room and you hid in a corner. You said the dog sounded scared. That’s when you started not to respond calmly anymore and I was forced to wake you up.” She replied and I was impressed by how much she remembered of the situation for it being almost 35 years ago.

“I had been seeing the dog before my mother brought me here, that’s the biggest reason why we came..” I honestly answered, “I still saw him after I left here and he helped my sisters and I escape my house before, from what I’ve come to believe, my father was able to blow it up. I still don’t know if my sisters were telling the truth, that they really did see the dog like I did, or if they were only humoring me.. But, either way, we got out.”

Mrs. Hughes seemed bothered by the news, but she didn’t act on whatever she was honestly thinking, “So, are you seeing the dog again? Is he what brought you here for more help?” She asked and I withdrew from her a little, looking down to my lap and eventually shaking my head ‘no’.

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“Then, what is it, Jason?” She continued.

It took me a moment to reply, she would only think I was crazy, but then again, I came here to get help and withholding anything now would render this visit pointless. “I’ve been, um.. Seeing my father, instead..”

“I see. What does he say to you? How often does he just show up?” She wondered, seemingly not wavered by my words, so I continued with less hesitation.

“He’s.. He’s been telling me to do things that I just can’t do. But it’s driving me up a wall because no matter how many times I say no, he continues to persist as if I’ve never told him no in the first place. It’s an ongoing loop that just never seems to stop.. He used to show up only every now and then, but the more years pass, the more I see him, and I’ve been seeing him for a while every day up until about a week ago.”

“Well, if he’s gone now, then why have you come? Do you think he’ll come back at some point, maybe you won’t have control?” She wondered and I thought for a moment before finally nodding.

“Yeah, I just.. I don’t know what’ll happen the next time I see him, or if I’ll be able to stop whatever he tells me to do,” I replied.

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“Well, how do you usually feel when your father comes? Are you sad or angry? Lonely?” She asks and I think for a moment.

“I’m never lonely or really that sad. I suppose it’s when I’m stressed or mad,” I reply.

“So you’re already angry when he shows up and he only increases your anger then, would you say that’s correct?”

“Yeah.” I replied quickly, seeing that maybe we were getting somewhere.

“It seems to me that you still hold on to your father more than you may think. As much as you might resent him, hasn’t he been someone that you’ve maybe strived for approval from?” She suggested and I grew a little angered. “I know you may be a little reluctant to believe this, but maybe you wanting to make your father proud is passed the time you’re able to, so you go to him now for approval since you didn’t get to when you were a child. All you did was stay away from one another, but didn’t you always, somewhere deep down, want to find a happy medium with him?” She continued. As much as I hated to think about it, the last time I saw my father was when he and my mother were telling my sisters and I goodnight before he carried out his gruesome plan. I had asked them for a puppy, something to distract me from seeing Archor and my parents had agreed, my father was first to say yes. He compromised for me, agreed to give me something that would make me happy and maybe even like him more, but at the same time, I feel like he was only doing that to give us something happy to think about when we went to bed before he murdered us all. Mrs. Hughes’ voice snapped me out of my thoughts, “Jason, would you want to try hypnosis once again? We seemed to get pretty far when you were a child, maybe we could surface some more things now that you’ve matured?” She offered and I nodded, agreeing to her logic and we went through the routine there was to put me under.

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“Jason..? Can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you? What do you see?”

“I’m in the backyard. My mother is scattering hay for her horse. She takes a break and looks over to me. Her smile is as bright as the sun.”

“How old are you?

“I.. I think I’m 5.”

“Good.. What else do you see?”

“My mother comes over to me and throws me around. I’m laughing.. She takes me inside and puts me on the couch to watch TV. My father is in the kitchen and she goes to him, but they.. They start fighting.”

“Why? What are they talking about?”

“I can’t hear them. My father’s voice is so low, my mother only speaks a loud whisper so I don’t hear.”

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“What’s happening now?”

“I get off the couch. I’m mad. Madder than I’ve ever been.”

“What do you do? Why are you mad?”

“I go towards the kitchen. I want to stop their fighting. I want my father away from her.”

“Jason, it’s all right.. Calm down,” Mrs. Hughes says as I can feel myself squirm in discomfort.

“It’s my first time standing up to him. I want him to stop, but he grabs her arm. I’m scared.”

“Scared? Scared of your father? Scared for your mother? Yourself?”

“I.. I just want him to stop.. Stop it! STOP!”

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My eyelids flew open and the whole room had changed. I felt.. So different. My entire body was hot with rage. I could remember Mrs. Hughes and I talking, I was calm.. Yet out of nowhere there was this anger inside of me that I couldn’t extinguish. I was out of my realm of comfort. I had felt this before.. But where? When? ..Why?

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“Do you feel it?” I heard Mrs. Hughes voice, yet it felt as if my ears had been plugged and her words were muffled.  I could make out what she was saying, but barely.

“Feel.. What?”  I asked, blinking harshly a few times as I looked to her and I sat up slowly. I looked around the room, noticing that the whole room had grown heavy and it seemed as if gravity had increased tenfold. It was hard to move, like how you feel in a dream, like when you want to do something so bad but your blows are lessened greatly and it feels as if you’re causing no change at all.

“The anger.. That hate.. You feel that, don’t you?” She asked, yet her voice grew deeper and more menacing. 

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I looked back to where Mrs.Hughes was sitting and my eyes widened in shock when I saw my father, “How do you feel, son?” He asked, his voice getting less muffled and easier to hear as he continued his words, “Do you feel at ease where you are?”

“No.. Of course not. I feel terrible,” I replied angrily, “Why the hell are you here!? Now out of all times to show up!” I yelled.

“Calm down, Jason.. You’re only acting on what you’ve been feeling from day one. Hatred.”

“Shut up! Why are you here? Where is Mrs. Hughes!?” I demanded to know.

“She’s here. But she can’t help you anymore. Only I can. Weren’t you worried that you’d never see me again?”

“Pah! Don’t put yourself so high on a pedestal, you piece of garbage,” I replied angrily.

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“Come now, Jason.. I can’t be all that bad. You once wanted to accept me just as much as you wanted acceptance from me, is that not true?” I held my tongue, not wanting to give him the satisfaction he much desired. “See? Even now you dare not talk back to me when you were so willingly able to when you were younger. You just wanted attention, didn’t you? ..Well, now you have it.” He continued.

I didn’t know what to say really. That could’ve been the right answer, then again I was never sure of what I wanted.. I was too young to realize, but now at a grown age, not knowing anything that may have been, I had no idea what I wanted from him anymore. “Why are you here? What the hell do you want..?” I asked in a defeated tone, my comprehension of things seemingly at a loss.

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“You know damn well what I want!” He raised his voice, stirring me a little and I hate to admit that I flinched in fright towards him, “You know what you must do yet you refuse to admit it!”

“I will not kill my children!” I yelled back, recalling what he has always told me now, “I’m not you! I can’t act on something when I don’t believe it! I’m not crazy, and neither are my boys. Just leave them out of it. Leave them out of it all!”

“Like I have a choice! If it were up to me, I’d let them live. But they are an abomination. So are you, and so am I! Stop denying it and see it for what everything really is, dammit! Stop being so stupid and get rid of the things that are only going to cause more pain like everyone else in this family before you has done!” He called back, refusing to back down from what he’s been telling me for the passed 4 years of first seeing him.

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“No..” I tried to reply calmly, “Nothing you can say will make me change my mind about my sons or my own life,” I replied, seeing him get more angered and he stood to his feet. Adrenaline forced itself throughout my body and I wanted to stand as intimidatingly as he had, yet for some reason I couldn’t move my legs. 

“How dare you talk to me like I am a stranger passing you by on the sidewalk! I am your father and you will do as I say! Whether you choose to believe it or not, this is the truth and it is what needs to be done, Jason! The sooner you realize that, the better!” He yelled back, his booming voice no different and still completely terrifying just as it was when I was a child. But, I wasn’t a child anymore, I had my own family to protect and he hasn’t been a part of it ever since he died when I was still but a few years younger than being a teen. I’ve told him no before, I can do it again.

“Everything is my choice now, my decision! Not yours! These are not your children to just do as you wish with them and cast them out like a common piece of trash!” I retaliated.

“Don’t worry Jason, since you’re not man enough to do it, I’ll just have to do everything myself!” He threatened, catching my full attention. I knew he wasn’t real, I knew he wasn’t there, but his words were something I couldn’t escape and just what he’s been able to do to me proved that maybe he could do worse to my children. I grew.. So angry.. So, so enraged.

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“You.. Will not, touch them!” I yelled with a voice I was unfamiliar with myself, even though it came from me. I jumped up from my seat upon the sofa and lunged at him, quicker than he could react and before he could stop me, my right hand was tightly clenching his throat and I refused to let go. His hand clawed at my wrist, but it held tight even under his immense pressure in trying for it to stop and I could feel my grip only tightening around the strained tendons in his neck. I never wanted him to get away, not this time, not again. He can’t leave me now and I finally have him where I want him. He’s at my every whim, he’s at my mercy where there is absolutely none and I hope he soon realizes that there is no hope for him anymore. There is no getting out of this. What happens, happens, and what happens is final. I won’t let him control me anymore.

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I managed to keep my grip on his throat but the more he pulled back, the more I lost my balance and I tumbled slightly over the fabric covered table that doubled as a coffee stand, falling over him but making complete sure that my hand never let up upon his throat. I fell over the coffee table and on top of him, straddling him and my left hand was then brought to his throat without a second thought. I clenched as hard as I could, hearing his throat gurgle and beg for air, but the more air he let escape from his lungs, the tighter my grip became and it was impossible for him to breathe. He reached out, flailing his arms and squirming his legs as if to try to get free, but the struggle he put up for air was more than the struggle to get free, causing him to ultimately give in to me and cease fighting.

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It took longer than I’d like to admit to make sure my father was dead for the second time, and for good. The moment I felt his last dying breath, I felt calm, almost euphoric in a way and I couldn’t describe how happy I was. I was nostalgic. I couldn’t feel his strong struggling heartbeat under my fingertips anymore but I continued my wrath, making sure there was no return after he had fallen unconscious. For the first time in my life, I was proud of myself. I even maybe thought that my father himself would be proud of me for overcoming such a terrible, gut-wrenching obstacle. Is it all over? Am I.. Can I go on with my life? Can I live without you on my shoulder every day now? Please, let it be true.. I shut my eyes for a long moment, trying to gather myself as I still knelt over my once again dead father, trying to breathe, trying to make sense of everything. But, I opened my eyes and the last thing I had ever wanted lying before me upon the hard, thin carpeted ground.

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“M-M.. M-Mrs.. Mrs. Hughes..?” My throat caught multiple times, speaking in a struggled whisper as a gasp then engulfed my lungs.

         She was dead..

I had killed her..

         I..

But.. No! She was.. My father was.. He was there! He was.. He was the one I was strangling the life out of.. He was the one that drove me to this.. He..

       He won..

He had finally won..

                He showed me who I was..

He proved to me that I’m no better than him, I’m no better than my murderous sons..

               He.. 

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“O-Oh, God.. What.. What have I done!?” I called out, scooting as fast as I could away from Mrs. Hughes’ limp body until my back reached the softened coffee table. This.. This is what my father wanted, he wanted to show me what I was capable of when everything was out of my own control. This.. This needs to stop! How do I stop it? “Oh, God..”

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I couldn’t fully grasp what I was looking at. I had killed Lana, and now I’ve killed her mother, the woman that introduced me to her daughter and I thought I had fallen in love with. It was a false love, but what else do you feel when you’re so close to someone and find out they’re pregnant with your child, even to find out later in life that it’s not yours? I was thinking of everything.. Why did Lana trick me? Why did I act like I never knew Lucy wasn’t mine when I knew she wasn’t from the very beginning? Why did I continue to nurture them both when neither of them technically were my responsibility? Why did I murder Lana? Why is Lucy still here? Why does she love me after what I’ve done to her and hers? “What do I d-do now?” I continued to quiver and contemplate what I should do. There was nothing else I could do. She was dead, I made sure of that thanks to my father. There was no bringing her back and I didn’t know what to do.. What do I do!?

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I.. I panicked. I’m a coward, over emotional.. I can’t handle this.. I just can’t! I stood quickly from the floor, jumping over Mrs. Hughes’ still limp body and I rushed out of the door. Tears still falling down my face, I didn’t know what to think or how to grasp myself back on solid land when everything felt so thick and made of mold. Each step that I took running away from her felt as if I was running through sand. That hard, forced, muscular pace I needed to keep up weighed down on my thighs and it was hard.. So, so hard to get away from it.

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Running down the stairs felt like running down a rocky waters edge leading down to a deep pool in which you’ll never get out of. My feet kept slipping and I couldn’t seem to get a good grip anywhere.. On the way down the stairs, I contemplated stopping, calling the police, telling them I found her this way, but I couldn’t.. I just couldn’t.. I couldn’t look at her lifeless body again and I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I had seen. I couldn’t lie. I was too fucked up now to even try to be good at it. I’d fail. I’d be the laughing stock. The moment I reached the bottom of the stairs, I knew there was no going back. The moment my feet hit the carpet, I dashed through the small lobby and rushed out the door, running to my car and pulling out my keys from my pocket, yet stumbling to stop my fast pace when they fell to the grass from losing my shaky-handed grip on them. I knelt down quickly and gripped my keys along with a handful of grass and dirt, continuing to race to my car then and I pressed the unlock button as hard as I could multiple times. I got into the car and slammed the door shut, my quickened breathes making my chest work harder than normal and I felt as if I could vomit at any moment.

I’m panicking.. Slow down.. Calm down.. You didn’t..

“You didn’t mean to kill her.. It.. It was an accident..” I said out loud quietly to myself, hoping it would calm me, but it only did a little and not nearly as much as I needed it to. I started the car and backed out as calmly as I could, only to almost back into oncoming traffic that I either failed to acknowledge or even care was there. I had no idea what state I was in. I was bothered beyond belief, I could barely drive, and I had just killed someone.. 

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The only place that I saw fit to hide my dismay was my own home.. By this time, the twins were either sleeping or still out doing whatever they do.. Bahiti was for sure asleep, and Bennu was either asleep on the big couch in the living room from watching a movie, or she was asleep in our bedroom.. Knowing my family, I knew the boys weren’t home, I knew Bahiti was asleep, and for how long I’ve been gone, Bennu was asleep on the cough in the living room. I could go upstairs without a fuss and I could hopefully gather my thoughts and try to think of what to do with all that has happened. I pulled into the driveway, waiting for the stupid gate that opens for what it seems three inches a minute and I finally pulled in after my car could fit through the very small opening that I couldn’t wait to get any wider. 

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I came in through the front door silently and I heard nothing throughout the house, causing me to lessen my panic only slightly and I rushed upstairs with light feet, barely causing a sound on the steps I touched. I finally reached my room, running in and closing the door quickly yet quietly and I noticed that I was right, Bennu was probably asleep downstairs on the couch and I could let loose. My eyes never stopped watering, yet once I realized I was alone, my tears fell harder than ever and I couldn’t stop them.. I was horrified by what I had let happen, but more so on what I had done to my daughter.. My little Princess Lucy.. I had killed her mother.. And now, I’ve killed her only other relative that was close to her.. What kind of person am I? …Is this what I was always meant to do? Is this what my father has wanted me to be..? Nothing more than a plain old insane killer?

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I could barely breathe, I could barely contain myself. My knees buckled and I couldn’t support my own weight anymore. I had.. I had just killed someone.. I had just killed someone. My father warned me of with so many times before.. “Just off yourself! Everything will be fine if you’re gone!” Maybe he was right..? Maybe I should’ve just taken my own life. Maybe I could’ve stopped it all together. My sons, they’re.. They’re killers.. I’m a killer.. I’m the one everyone should be afraid of, not my father that no one else can see but myself.. I’m trying to protect my family, trying to protect all that I have left, yet I just killed someone wrongfully for what my father put into my head.. What the hell am I? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this kind of stress!? This kind of torment? This kind of absolute nothing that I’ve been dealing with all of my life? How am I supposed to stop anything bad from happening to my boys? To my wife? To my entire family!?

What the fuck do I do!?” I yelled at myself, wanting to vomit and having this constant gagging feeling in my throat, yet nothing would come out. Nothing would give me relief. Nothing would give me solace in the horrific situation of which my father has put me into.. This horrific situation I have willingly put myself into.

Next Chapter, Pt. 2 |

~ by SimComix on November 26, 2013.

18 Responses to “Generation 2, Chapter 20, Finale Pt 1 of 2”

  1. *wipes tears away, sniffles*
    That second picture of Jason stepping in a puddle, those water drops mesmerized me LOL. That was an awesome picture. Mm sour face Jason, I can’t think straight when he makes that face. Also his profile? Yumm. *dies* Ok. *brain, work* The irony of Jason not wanting to listen to his father is that he always thought his father was being a jerk to him, but he helped him learn to say no to certain things. In a way his father helped him become as strong as he is, I think. He might not have made it this long with all the crap he’s been through without that strength. It was funny when I was scrolling down, and saw the red, there was like one line of red, and I was like hmm she put a border in or something, and I scrolled down all the way and went O_O.
    LOL the red walls jumped out at me, you could say. As Jason was manifesting his father onto Mrs. Hughes, I felt you wrote that transition really well. So well in fact, that as the red walls continued, I almost forgot that it was Mrs. Hughes in the room with Jason until he stopped blacking out.
    Jason crying makes me cry. I just feel like my heart is breaking right along with his. I always want to give him a big bear hug and tell him everything will be okay even though it won’t be, just to make him feel better. T_T I love the Christmas lights on his house, they’re gorgeous, just like he is. *cries as I write this last part* Jesus. LOL.
    I just. I hate how he’s so alone in his insanity. Not that he could share it, but I think that just makes it worse. The insanity is so entwined in who he is and he can’t share it. When he was falling over in his bedroom, I just, ugh. LOL. My words are not coming through as eloquently as I hoped. My heart broke for him and I just hate that he thinks the only way out is to end himself, even though it might be true.
    *continues crying and snuggles Jason on his bedroom floor*

    • LOL the water droplets.. I’m really enjoying the aspects of Seasons, I feel like letting the weather do what it wants adds more to the pictures.
      You could be right, Marrick maybe did help Jason, but ultimately, Jason still might have done the wrong thing. Jason was under the impression that Marrick was the one telling him to do everything, but even Jason admits that he’s had thoughts of killing his children all by himself in the last chapter. He still resents Marrick for taking Sadie from him before her time, which is the reason why Marrick is the one that Jason sees; he wants someone to blame for what his own insane thoughts are telling him, when Jason is the only one thinking them. But, he’s going through a huge stage of denial and he doesn’t want to admit that whenever he’s talking to Marrick, he’s actually just talking to himself about the thoughts that are already in his head about what he should do.
      LOL You thought the red was a boardered picture at first XD I’m glad the red walls jumped out at you. Aww, and thanks so much, I’m glad you liked the transition and I’m happy to hear you forgot for a while that Mrs. Hughes was even there, it’s what I was going for :D
      Yeah, it really is sad to see him suffering so much with his insanity that he feels he can’t turn to anyone. You’re right, everything that he’s dealing with can’t be shared, it would only scare everyone he loves away and of course he doesn’t want that. LOL *cries with* Despite having so much family surrounding him, he’s still so very alone. T_T
      Thanks so much for reading!

  2. Holy. Shit. Awesome. I got excited when a kid on Christmas when I saw a new chapter out. So much to comment on, but I feel a jumbled mix of emotions. Poor Jason, at the cemetery, he misses his mom so much, and every time he goes to visit her grave his pain pretty much jumps off the screen at me. He wants to see her so bad, but all he gets is Merrick. :( I had a bad feeling the minute I saw him head to Mrs. Hughes office, I didn’t expect him to kill her though, but the minute I saw the red walls, I knew she was a gonner. I didn’t expect it to make me so sad though, cause she seemed like such a sweet lady. The way you described the choking scene was….awesome. I know the next chapter is going to be mind blowing and I can’t wait. If I could come to your house in real life, I would go all Misery on you like Kathy Bates and make you finish the story like right now. (lol)

    I’m getting kind of sad though knowing the generation is coming to a close. I felt that way at the end of gen 1 with Merrick, but my attachment to Jason is so much more, sigh. But on the plus side, the 3rd generation is going to be exciting. The twins and there extreme differences yet each insane is going to be fun to see how they play off each other.

    I’ll wrap it up now, this has gone on long enough. ROFL. I’m a blubbering mess this morning.

    • XD I’m glad to hear you were excited for a new chapter!
      Yeah, Jason is always a mess whenever he goes to the cemetery T_T Even if he saw her just one more time, it would probably do a world of difference for him, but that won’t happen. :(
      Seeing as this is part of the finale, I expected people to think something bad was coming from the very start, hahaha Mrs. Hughes was a gonner the moment she met Jason as a kid.
      I’m glad you liked the choking scene, I’ve seen too many scenes like that in movies where I hoped it would turn out just as good through writing rather than watching it, though I suppose I wanted the readers to picture it within their heads to the best of my ability.
      LMAO @ mentioning Misery.. I laughed really hard at that while here at work and I think I scared some people O_O LOLL
      Yeah, the closing of any generation is tough, we all get so attached to certain characters that we’re not ready to move on yet.. Hell, even Im not being my love for Jason is unconditional, but then again so was it for Marrick and I managed to get passed it. Barely.. LOL I’m glad youre excited for gen 3, though, it’s going to be really wild! The twins are going to be, well.. I’ll just let you read when we get there ;)
      Thanks for reading!!

  3. God, I have chills.

    I was so terrified for poor Mrs Hughes. At first I was just worried that he was somehow going to spill the beans about killing her daughter. But then he started the hypnosis and it was going another way and completely threw me for a loop. When the walls went red I was praying that he wouldn’t hurt her. I hoped he was just going to have this terrible and terrifying conversation with himself… And when he attacked Merrick I almost cried.

    No matter what beefs I’ve had with him in the past, right now I just want to hold him and tell him everything is going to be all right. I just want his mom to be back and for him to not be so alone. I feel like everything he’s gone through – all the women and failed relationships, and the things he regrets, all of those were just his subconscious struggling to find company.

    There is one thing that Merrick and his son have in common – they confine themselves away and can’t allow themselves to be happy. They don’t mean to, but they themselves ruin every moment of solace or companionship…

    I have to add that I love reading your comments back to your readers. :) They always give me a little more insight into whats going on, without interrupting the flow of the story. That’s a tact I need to learn when writing – I get so proud of myself in my plotting that I can’t leave anything implied – and it really ruins the experience. With your stories I’m enraptured every time. :D

    Alright, enough with the rambling. I can’t wait for the next chapter! I’ll totally assist Amandra in the Kathy Bates imitation if you take too long ;).

    Lol, just kidding. (I sound like a total psycho. *v*)

    • I’m glad I could throw you through a loop ;) hahaha I’d rather not become predictable, especially for this story >_< Although it makes me sad a little that I can sometimes make people cry with this story, it makes me feel insanely good at the same time O_O LOL
      Yeah, I'd say you're pretty spot on with Jason wanting to find company in many people based on what he's been through and how much he misses his mother. And yes, Marrick and Jason do have that one thing in common where they think they know something is for the best and they'll ruin themselves in order continue to believe it. They're very stubborn men, hahaha
      Aww thanks! Hahaha I'm glad they give you more insight. As far as the story, it just wouldn't make sense to include what I reply back to people here in the comments to be in the story because it's first person, and whenever it's in first person, there's no possible way for the character to know everything that I do, which ultimately makes them suffer or succeed. I'm glad that you read my responses, too, because sometimes people don't, but even with the crucial information within the story, sometimes my replies are crucial to read as well, like you've stated, to get more insight should anyone be confused a little.
      I'm glad you're excited for the final piece of the finale! I'm so very excited to be starting a new gen ^_^
      LOLL oh god.. now I have two Kathy Bates after me O_O
      *giggles nervously* Thanks for reading!

      *runs away* XD

      • Okay, so I just had to add this when you said you now had two Kathy Bates after you.

        *stands at door of cabin with shotgun to fend off potential Kathy Bateses* –> ROFL I just said that in a Gollum voice, omg, wtf is wrong with me. Hahaha.

        Not that I don’t want you to finish the story cause I do, but we can’t have Kathy Bates doing horrid things to you while you write. O_O That movie… LMAO.

        • LMAO

          I went on a trip this weekend and I went into this antique book shop and I found a hard copy of Misery and I bought it. It made me think of all of you XD! Hahahahaha

  4. Alright. It’s your fault that I stayed up until 7am reading all of this. My eyes are seriously sore! Please write more soon. I’m completely and utterly hooked. You’re a fantastic writer!

    • :O Oh my goodness! I’m sorry you got hooked and stayed up so late! >_< hahaha! I'm very happy that you are liking the story though :D And thank you so much, I'm glad you like my writing! An update will be out soon :D
      Thanks for reading!

  5. In his own twisted way, Jason thought killing Marrick would be his redemption. Instead, it led to his demise. And the fact that his victim was poor, sweet Mrs. Hughes was tragic. He’s taken his darling Lucy’s mother and grandmother from her. Seeing Jason cry always makes me sad. It seems like he finally gets the fact that he and his sons are, indeed, killers, no matter how much he wants to deny it. He just stared reality in the face, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Can’t wait to read the other half of the finale … like now! (I read this chapter on my iPhone at work during lunch but had to re-read it on my laptop at home so I could see nice, BIG pictures!) Oh, and I always read the comments & your responses. I love the extra insight as well. :D

    • Jason thought what he was doing was right, but yes, it led to his demise. But, there was really no way for him to know. He’s been blocking out the fact that he’s insane in hopes that he can prove to himself he can get better with possibly getting treatment, but look where that got him.. XD
      Yeah, he’s taken so much away from the most important girl in his life. He’s done so much for Lucy, yet at the same time, did the worst things to her he could possibly think of. U_U
      I’m glad you read my responses to comments as well. Because, like I’m sure you’ve already read in my responses above haha sometimes it can be crucial to read the more in depth insight into the chapters, almost as crucial as paying close attention to the story is. People can find out a lot more about a character through the eyes words of the author when they’re not in the story.
      Thanks for reading! :D

  6. Pure Drama

  7. No words…Wow… When Marrick showed up, I had a feeling it wouldn’t end well. He killed Lana, now he’s killed her mother. No way that will be ruled an accident. The cop will be back. Those twins, I fear what they will do since they don’t care at all. They enjoy the kill. It’s gonna be a rougher ride with them.

    • It’s never a good sign when Marrick shows up haha it’s going to be very difficult to cover this up, if Jason even tries to.

      Yeah, generation 3 is going to be a lot more intense O_O hahahaha!

      Thanks for reading and commenting! <3

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