Generation 4, Chapter 9

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I had a hard time sleeping last night.. Don’t get me wrong, I loved sleeping with Isaiah, but I was such a light sleeper that every time he would shift his weight even a little or wrap his arm around me tighter, I’d wake up and need to adjust myself.. Sometimes, I’d even need to direct his hand higher because it would subconsciously direct itself towards the rim of my pants, or I’d need to lift his hand because it would go down the front of my thigh.. I knew that he was probably more used to sleeping with people than me considering his age and his sense of calmness when it came to being with someone, but it still made me a little uncomfortable that his sleeping hand couldn’t contain itself.. I didn’t blame him by any means, nor was I angry or weirded out by it, but I just found it hard to sleep when every hour, almost on the hour, I’d wake up and need to keep his hand from venturing where it made me uncomfortable.

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When we had fallen asleep together, or rather, when he feel asleep before me, the first thing he did was push his face into my hair and my neck, his breathing calmed and relaxed, which made the hair on my neck and spine stand on end as well as me not wanting to move because he seemed so happy and comfortable.. But.. At the same time, it was still a little too much for me even though he was touching me without knowing what his sleeping body was doing, so I got up close to six in the morning when I didn’t think I could handle it anymore..

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I slowly and carefully picked up his wrist and laid down his arm after I had sat up, watching him continue to sleep even after I stood from the couch to go to his kitchen. Would he mind if I made him breakfast with his own food? It worried me that me might be mad if I used his food he had bought in his fridge, but would he really care if I made him breakfast? I’m not a good cook by any means, but I could at least do pancakes and eggs as well as bacon and he had all of those ingredients as I looked in his fridge, so would be really mind in the end?

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I started making him breakfast anyways despite him possibly being mad about it, scrambling eggs, cutting up a bell pepper, prepping the bacon, making the pancakes.. I really just wanted to thank him for being so kind to me and he was the rock that I needed last night. I wanted to thank him for letting me stay, for letting me vent, and I really wanted to thank him for being so understanding and really showing how truly composed he could be in a physical situation. He proved a lot of things to me last night.. I felt terrible for crying in front of him, but I couldn’t help it.. And yet, he was nothing but understanding and perfect. We even covered where we stood as far as a relationship, and now.. I guess he was my boyfriend..? A slight smirk came to my lips at the thought of it, but it still was going to take some time for it to sink in fully.

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I was so shy last night.. When I had kissed him after thanking him for letting me stay, he eventually kissed me harder and I got so excited that I was forced to break from that perfect kiss.. I couldn’t deal with the excitement I held, nor did I have any desire to do anything like that with him yet and I was forced to turn away from him.. I was so happy though to see him hold his own and he didn’t pressure me to kiss him longer than I wanted.. He only wanted to wrap his arm around me and I was completely okay with that.. He was just.. Perfect.. And I wanted to show him how appreciative I was with an at least decent breakfast..

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I plated everything and finished with pouring the cooked eggs and peppers onto a plate, thinking to myself that it all looked okay and then I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.. I jumped, of course, nearly dropping the pan but Isaiah let go immediately as I turned around and looked over my shoulder..

“Sorry.. I should’ve known better than to do that.. Couldn’t help myself,” he expressed and I eventually smirked, turning back to the plates full of breakfast.

“You can keep holding me.. I didn’t mean to jump like that..” I replied, feeling his arms then wrap around me again and his hold of me was tight enough that it was comforting, as well as still loose enough with a sense of relaxation.

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“Did you make me a good breakfast?” He asked and I smiled softly.

“Yeah, I mean, I hope so.. I wanted to thank you for letting me stay over.. I hope you don’t mind I used stuff in your fridge..”

“Of course I don’t mind.. I love having a meal cooked for me..” He replied, only holding me tighter, “And I thought you were a night person.. You’re up pretty early at six to make me breakfast,” he replied and I smirked nervously as he still held me.

“Well.. I couldn’t sleep..”

“Did I touch you too much while I slept?” He asked and I didn’t answer him for a moment, though both of us already knew the answer to his question, “I’m sorry.. If I was aware of what I was doing, I wouldn’t have done it..” He continued.

“It.. It wasn’t bad.. I’ll just, uhm, have to get used to it.. Right?” I asked in return.

“Yeah, I guess.. If you want to get used to it..” He answered and I felt my cheeks get warm. Do you want to get used to it?” He asked almost in a teasing manner and I held my tongue.

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“Your breakfast is ready..” I replied and I heard him chuckle, still holding on to me and I felt his lips kiss the back of my neck, sending chills up my spine.

“I have a pretty big appetite.. I think a good kiss might pair well with my eggs and pancakes,” he implied and I felt my face get even warmer. 

“Gross.. I haven’t even brushed my teeth.. And my toothbrush is at home,” I pointed out as I stared down at the full plates.

“It’s the farthest thing from gross and I don’t care. I came straight here from the couch, anyways.. I haven’t done it either, so kiss me,” he replied and I saw his point, but his bluntness just made me more nervous and I felt even more butterflies in my stomach the more I tried to avoid it.

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I slowly turned around within his arms, eventually looking up to him and I watched him smile, Isaiah then leaning in and our lips touched one other’s. I felt a little self conscious about not brushing my teeth before our kiss that turned out to be a lot longer and more passionate than I had expected it to turn into, but at the same time, the more he showed me he didn’t care, the more I felt okay with it. Kissing him was like a spark igniting within me every single time and as much as the build up to the kiss made me nervous, as our lips massaged against one another’s, those nerves seemed to dissipate every time as fast as they came to be. But, before it could get better, I felt Isaiah lean forward more but he quickly pulled away.

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“Ahh! Fuck..” He let out as he pulled away quickly, bringing his finger closer for inspection.

“What! What is it?” I asked frantically.

“I think I cut my finger on the knife you used.. Damn.. That pepper juice stings,” he continued with a chuckle and I felt terrible for leaving the knife out to where he’d get hurt, looking at his finger as well.

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“I’m so sorry.. Are you all right?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine, really.. Just a cut.. Don’t worry about it,” he played off, still looking at his finger and that’s when blood surfaced along the long slit on his fingertip, “Yeah, just a small cut.. Nothing huge,” he continued to play off with a gentle, calm laugh.

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But, once I saw the red.. The bloody, warm drops forming on his finger dripping down slowly, I felt a little dizzy..

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“Hey, hey, hey, whoa! Oliver!” I heard him say as my eyes rolled back into my skull and my head grew heavy, my body going limp and everything went white.

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My eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times and I saw a white ceiling, my vision still a little blurry and it was hard to make out where I was at first. I looked to my left, noticing I was lying within a bed and I then looked right, seeing Isaiah sitting within the mattress next to me, leaning over with a troubled expression and I grew worried.

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Wh- What happened?” I asked, seeing Isaiah nearly snap his own neck for how fast he faced me and I then saw an incredibly bright smile on his lips.

“Hey.. You’ve been out for an hour, you scared the shit out of me..” He replied, leaning towards me more and he brought his hand to my face, caressing his thumb over my cheek and I was still so confused. “You saw my cut and fainted right in the middle of the kitchen.. I managed to catch you before your head hit the ground, but, holy shit, Oliver.. You really did scare me..” He continued, still caressing my cheek with a relieved smile on his lips. 

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“I.. I fainted..?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah..”

“How’s your finger?” I wondered.

“I didn’t even need a band-aid, don’t worry about me.. Are you okay now?” Isaiah asked and I nodded in return as I sat up slowly with a gentle groan. 

“Yeah.. I think so..”

“Are you really that freaked out from blood?” He questioned next, seeing concern in his eyes as he continued to comfort me by caressing my face and I was embarrassed to admit it.

“I, uh.. Yeah.. I-I guess..”

“Well.. I’m glad you’re okay now..” Isaiah then hesitated a moment, as if wondering if his next words should be said, “Forgive me if this sounds rude, but.. How do you expect to become a general surgeon if you faint from seeing blood on a small cut?” He asked, my eyes then going to him in a slightly displeased way and I saw the remorse in his eyes after my gaze.

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“I’m sorry, I.. I didn’t mean to make you angry,” he quickly said after seeing my expression, though it was hard to forgive what he had asked. What business of it was his to wonder such a thing that I wanted to be? I knew the struggle of being a little weak to the sight of blood, but I just figured I’d get passed it eventually.. For him to bring something like that up made me angry, just as it had made me angry when James pointed it out to me earlier in the school year, but, what did that really mean, then? I hated whenever I questioned the profession I had told myself I wanted to pursue and maybe I was even in a little denial about this choice, but either way, I didn’t like that my career choice for the rest of my life was being questioned, no matter who was questioning it.. 

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I pulled my face away from his hand, “Oliver, forget what I said.. I’m sorry..” He made another attempt at apologizing and I wanted to tell him it was okay, but I was just angry now.. Not with him, in particular, but the fact that now two people have questioned my ability in the medical career that I so badly wanted to pursue.

“It’s fine..” I eventually replied.

“No, it’s not, I can see it in your face.. I’m sorry I upset you.. Who am I to have any say in what you want to become, right?” He asked rhetorically and now I felt bad for even acting that way towards him when his logic, as well as James, made sense in the end.. I just hated to admit that they might be right..

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“Well.. You have a big say in it.. Now, at least.. I just.. I really don’t like getting my flaws pointed out, especially when I want to do nothing but help people live.. This is a huge setback, but I just want to get over it so I can do what I want for others, alright? I just.. I need to get passed it.. Okay?” I asked more sternly and his expression was as if I had just scolded him.

“You’re right.. I totally understand.. I’m sorry again, though.. I’ll just, uh.. I’ll let you rest some more..” He replied, watching as he stood from the bed and I watched as he walked towards the door.

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“Isaiah..” I tried to stop him, seeing him come to a halt before he opened the door and he looked back at me, “Thank you.. For everything you’ve done for me.. I don’t mean to be mean.. I just-”

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“Don’t apologize. I was out of line asking something like that.. Just get some more rest, okay?” He replied, seeing him smirk just slightly and I nodded, watching him then leave but just before he shut the door, I noticed his face turn sad with his eyes and head facing down and I felt bad as I heard the door shut..

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Why..? Why was it that every time he was so nice to me and only showed concern did I make the conversation turn sour or make things uncomfortable? I’m such an asshole.. I knew the concern he held as well as James’ concern for my ability to pull off my dream career, but what was the point in trying to save people when I couldn’t even handle seeing a drop of blood? They both had good points.. Well, they were the same points, but I just hated how I had proof now that more than one person saw the same disadvantage I had when it came to wanting to be a doctor, and even with James being in the same classes with me for the past three years, it made me feel more inadequate since Isaiah had noticed my flaw within only a few weeks of knowing him when it took James years to mention it.. Maybe I just hated that I was just so damn easy to read, or maybe it was just because I knew I was going to be a failure before I even go into my Residency if I didn’t get over this fear of blood I had. I didn’t want to fail, I didn’t want all of my schooling be for nothing, and I didn’t want to look pathetic in the eyes of everyone else. 

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I let out a large, heavy sigh, shutting my eyes and turning my body as I fell down into his bed, my face against Isaiah’s pillow and  I lie there sulking for a few minutes.. But, the longer I lie in his bed, I could’t sleep in it.. I just couldn’t.. He told me to rest, but I couldn’t when all I could smell was him on his pillows and blankets, as well as just thinking about him, knowing he was in the other room most likely sulking from how I had reacted and I was just so insecure, yet again, to the point where it made him feel like shit when he didn’t really do anything wrong.. Why do I always do that to him, and how the hell can I just lay here and do nothing about it..?

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I got up, swinging my legs over the bed and I stood to my feet, quickly going to the bedroom door and pulling it open. I first went passed the kitchen and looked in the living room, not seeing him, but once I turned around, I noticed him sitting in the kitchen, his eyes already up and looking at me, “What’s wrong?” He asked and I noticed he had been picking at the breakfast I had made.. It must’ve been cold by now..

“N-Nothing.. Nothing’s wrong..” I replied as I approached the doorway to the kitchen, seeing him look back down at his plate with a subtle nod and I could feel my chest tightening in remorse every second that I looked at his miserable face.. He hated hurting me in the slightest, it was obvious, and although I truly appreciated it, it only made me feel worse about how I reacted to everything he did for me that made him this way in the first place..

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I walked into the kitchen, stepping behind him and I threw my arms around his neck, feeling his back straighten instantly and one of his hands reached up to touch my arm, “Are you okay? ..Really?” He asked again and I nodded as my face brushed against the side of his.

“Yeah.. Yeah, I’m great..” I replied, hugging him a little tighter and I noticed his lips had curled into a smile and lifted his bright face.

“What did you sleep for, three minutes?” He asked as a joke and he hummed a content chuckle as well.

“I couldn’t sleep..” I replied.

“Oh, yeah? And why’s that?” He wondered somewhat flirtatiously and I smirked even though he couldn’t see it.

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“No reason..” I lied, wanting to tell him that I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to get lost in the smell of him in his bed, but I couldn’t be that straight forward, nor could I even say such a thing without it sounding really weird.

“There you go lying again,” he teased a little and I kept the smirk I’ve continued to hold. 

“Isn’t your breakfast cold? You don’t have to eat it to make me happy.. I’ll replace everything, too, since all I did was waste everything..” I replied, changing the subject.

“You’re sweet, but don’t worry about it, really. A few missing eggs and bacon I can get over, but you lying to me? I can’t swallow that, anymore,” he answered and I lost my smirk, letting him go and standing up straight. 

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Isaiah then turned around within the chair, looking back at me and the look in his eyes made me a little nervous. I watched as he then stood to his feet and stepped around the chair towards me, “It was cute before when you were hiding things from me and you were so nervous, but now that we’re together, you can’t do that stuff anymore,” he pointed out and my view went to the floor tiles, “So.. Why couldn’t you sleep? Tell me, maybe I can help,” he insisted with a grin and I smirked as I kept my head down.”What’s  funny?” He wondered after he saw my slight smile.

“You can’t help.. I felt bad for what I said to you, and I can’t sleep in a bed where all I can think about is how it’s yours.. All I could smell was you and I couldn’t focus enough to even try to sleep.. And I just.. I like how you smell,” I replied.

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“You realize that that sounds kind of creepy, right?” He replied and I looked up to him, then furrowed my brows in anger as my gaze met the floor again.

“Whatever..” I replied and I heard him laugh, then noticing him walk up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and he kissed my cheek.

“You’re so cute when you pout,” he answered, feeling his lips kiss my cheek a few more times, each one lasting longer than the last and it felt as if he was apologizing in a way without saying it outright.

“Stop calling me cute, I’m not a baby,” I answered.

“But you’re my baby,” he replied and I couldn’t help but crack a tiny smirk.

“Shut up..” I said softly, hearing him chuckle and feeling him plant yet another kiss on my cheek.

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I then felt a slight cold rush of air against my cheek as Isaiah inhaled a large breath, “It’s a good thing, too.. I like the smell of you more, so now we can be creeps together,” he said with a laugh and I couldn’t help but smile more, which then led me to laughing with him. I liked the ways he tried to cheer me up, whether is was from genuine, sincere honesty or even a stupid joke, I enjoyed how it always made me feel better in the end. It was odd for me to feel like this.. Not the fact that I enjoyed spending time with him, but the fact that I haven’t experienced something like this in a long time.. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this happy.

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Isaiah eventually pulled away from my cheek, looking to me with a content smile, “Well, I’m going to take a shower,” he said and I couldn’t seem to stop my flustered behavior, “Will you be here when I get out?”

“No, I should probably get going..” I admitted.

“Do you have class today?”

“Yeah, in about two hours.”

“All right, well.. Since it’s Friday, I’ll be working late tonight and tomorrow, so would you want to do something Sunday?” He wondered and I still held my smile.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” I answered and I could see the joy in his eyes.

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“I’ll call you Sunday then,” he replied and I nodded.

“Okay,” I answered with the same smile I held and he leaned in to kiss me goodbye before he left my side, seeing a grin on his face as he left the kitchen and went across the tiny hallway towards the bathroom.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth when you get home,” he called out teasingly before I heard the bathroom door shut and I laughed softly to myself.

“Jerk..” I said under my breath jokingly as I walked out of the kitchen then and towards the door, putting my shoes on and leaving his condo.

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I caught a cab to the campus and went to the pool, going to my locker and taking my backpack out that held my school uniform and I changed within one of the stalls. I didn’t like that I didn’t get a chance to go home and wash everything for the next day at school, though spending the night at Isaiah’s and forgetting to do so was well worth it. I brushed my teeth quickly in one of the sinks with an extra toothbrush I had within my locker, smirking occasionally as I did so at the thought of Isaiah as I got ready for class.

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When I got to class, James wasn’t there, the seat empty next to me and I kept glancing towards the door, wondering if he’d walk in late, but he never did.. Twenty minutes into class, I finally gave up on potentially seeing James and focused on my work, something I haven’t been able to do in a month or two and it actually felt good to be studying again.. To be focused. I smirked at the thought that Isaiah might just be the one thing I needed in order to get passed all of this bullshit with Jody as well as James and Kat hounding my every day and it really did feel good to think that maybe I could just finish this semester off without seeing her again so I could go into my Residency without worrying about bumping into her on campus..

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But, my Residency coming up made me nervous the more I thought about it.. It made me think back to this morning when I had fainted from the sight of blood that delicately beaded up and dripped down Isaiah’s finger that he cut on the knife I used for breakfast and even the thought of what I had seen made me a little light headed. I wish I could give him an answer as to why I always felt dizzy seeing blood, but I didn’t even know myself why it happened.. It just.. Did.. And what was worse was that I knew that that conversation between us didn’t end there, no matter if he avoided it for my sake, I knew it was going to be mentioned again from him, but I still didn’t know what to tell him, nor did I know what to even tell myself. Maybe when I went into my Residency I’d get used to it, but even just the thought of me fainting for the first few times just to get passed the feeling was going to be more embarrassing at the hospital than it was in class during demonstrations.. I even began contemplating whether or not this career was the right choice for me, someone as weak and stupid as me to the point where a pinprick would make me queezy.. How in the hell was I going to be the surgeon I wanted to be when the sight of the thick, red substance made me dizzy? It was impossible to avoid, but what do I do about it now?

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When class was eventually let out, I walked through the halls of the campus on my way to my next class, keeping my view to the ground as I walked and I began pondering what other careers I might be interested in. I still wanted to be a surgeon the most, but now that I had come to the daunting realization that it might not work out in the end, I figured I might as well think of other options, but where do I start..? The only other thing that I really loved to do was swim, but I didn’t care enough to do it competitively, nor did I want to be a mere lifeguard because I would rather be in the water than sitting on top of those high lifeguard chairs all day just waiting for someone to drown or watching other people have fun in the water while I watched them for hours.. It just sounded too boring.. But, what else was there for me to do? 

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The only thing that I could really think of doing that both involved saving people and also getting to spend time in the water that I loved was possibly joining the Navy to become a Aviation Rescue Swimmer, but could I really handle something like that? It seemed like a pretty good idea when it suddenly popped into my head, but just as quickly as I liked the idea, bad thoughts began to outweigh the good.. What if there was a shark attack and blood in the water? There’d be no way I could consciously jump in to save them if I can’t keep myself from fainting.. Could I really jump into the ocean in an attempt to save fisherman from a sinking ship, knowing I might run into dead, already drowned people within the water? And then, the most important question I asked myself, could I really be away from Isaiah, as well as James and Kat that long? I’d be completely alone and I’d barely ever get time to go home, possibly being gone months at a time, and that scared me more than the actual job did.. At first, it was a good idea, an alternate one that provided my love for helping people as well as the water, but now, it was completely out of the question and I was right back to square one..

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I walked into the men’s bathroom casually, wanting to clear my head a little before my next class and I walked up to one of the sinks, turning the warm water on and cupping my hands so water could fill up within them. I splashed my face gently a couple of times before finally shutting the faucet off and reaching for a towel to dry my face. After wiping it dry, I stood at the sink for a moment, looking at myself in the mirror for a brief second, but my view then turned towards the bathroom door when I heard someone walking in.

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Thomas.. Great, just what I needed right now. 

“My, my.. It must be my lucky day, huh, Fish? I wanted to find you and exchange some words and here you are,” he taunted at first and I watched as he reached behind him to lock to bathroom doors. Shit.. That’s never a good sign.

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“What do you want, Thomas?” I asked dryly, pulling myself away from the sink and I watched as he put his hands into his pockets and began pacing slowly around the bathroom with the conniving grin his lips always held.

“What do I want? Well.. A few things, actually. I want to ask you some questions, I want to get something through that thick skull of yours, I also kind of want to rip your throat out, though not necessarily all in that order,” he replied and I grew more nervous, taking a few steps back and away from him the closer he got.

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“What’s this about?” I asked and he chuckled, shaking his head in a disappointed manner.

“Ahh, Fish.. I really hate when you always play this innocent, pathetic little worm that runs at the very sight of conflict, but you cause so much of it yourself I’d think you’d be used to this stuff coming back to bite you in the ass by now,” he answered, “You know.. Do you really think that I’m anything like you? That I won’t stand up for someone I love when someone’s wronged them? Do you honestly think I’m as weak as you?”

“Get to the point, Thomas, or leave me the hell alone,” I replied and he continued to approach me, my feet stepping away from him more and more but I was forced to stop when my back hit the wall.

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Thomas stood directly in front of me, his hand coming up quickly and clasping at my throat, holding it so tightly that I could barely breath and more importantly so I couldn’t talk.

Do you know how big of a piece of shit you are, or do you just like begging to be reminded?” He began and I was so confused. I tried to cough under his grip to catch my breath, bringing my hands up to his wrist in hopes of removing his from the clinch he held me in, but he grabbed one of my wrists with his unoccupied hand in return and slammed my hand against the wall, “Why do you struggle? I only want to talk,” he continued, smirking with his lips, but his eyes held immense anger.

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“W-What-“ I tried to speak, but he let go of my throat and sent his fist flying into my stomach, all the breath I had left escaping me and I could breathe even less. His hand then reached down to my hunched over body, grabbing my neck again and forcing me to stand upright once more, the back of my head hitting the wall with a loud thud and my expression winced in pain.

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“Don’t fucking talk! The nerve you have going for someone like Jody and then ignoring her. I’m going to say this once, and only once.. If you think that you can knock up my little sister and then never talk to her again, you’ve got another fucking thing coming, you piece of decaying garbage!” He threatened, his words being spoken so hard through his clenched teeth that he seemed like a rabid dog by the amount of spit that I felt on my face. “You now have only one fucking goal in life, and that’s to never piss her off or you’re going to answer to me, and we all know how those fights end up, now don’t we, Fish?” He continued, “If you ever, and I mean ever, try to leave her high and dry, or try to weasel your way out of this by ignoring her anymore and leaving her to deal with this alone, I’ll kill you myself.. You got me?” He continued and I could feel my head getting lighter and lighter from the lack of oxygen.

But.. Wait.. They’re siblings..? And did he just.. Did he just say Jody was pregnant!?

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“You’re lucky my sister and I are meeting up in a few minutes, or else I’d love to stay in here all day beating the shit out of you for what you’ve done to her already. But, I hope we understand one another.. I’d hate for our next meeting to end worse than this one will,” he threatened last and his hands then gripped the front of my clothes, throwing me to the wall to his right and the next thing I knew my bottom met the ground and I slid until the back of my head slammed against the wall. That’s when everything went black.

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I had woken up still within the bathroom, alone, my vision a little blurred and immediately my head started pulsing in pain and I let out a sudden, quiet groan in discomfort. My eyes winced shut and I brought my hand to the back of my head, feeling the spot in the most pain, but as I brought my hand back forward to look at my fingers, I was glad that I wasn’t bleeding from my skull being forced to meet the wall. I sighed heavily in both pain and disappointment, realizing that I’ve now fell unconscious twice in one day and that was never a good sign.. Although both times were for completely different reasons, it made me realize that I really am a weak person in all aspects that I could possibly think of. Why does Isaiah even like me? What’s there to like? He deserves someone with more self-esteem, less looking after, more ambition and a sense of courage, anything else but me.

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I slowly brought my knees to my chest and bowed my head, sitting there on the dirty bathroom floor where I felt I belonged. If I was a stronger person, I’d probably have a lot better of a life than I’m having now.. I’d be smart enough and strong enough to know right from the beginning that Jody was bad news, but I’m not those things, and now my worst nightmare has come true. I hoped that Thomas was lying.. I hoped that Jody was just spreading lies and I’d rather deal with a rumor than deal with having a baby together. I tried to calculate in my head back to the day she forced herself on me, and if what Thomas said is true, then she’s about a month along already. 

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What the hell was happening in my life? Every time something remotely went well, it always ended up turning to shit.. I thought I had a chance with Jody, but she turned out to be a wolf – no – a monster in sheep’s clothing.. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, knew I wanted to be, but now, even despite all of my hard work and dedication to my education, I’ve been realizing that choosing this line of work was the stupidest way to spend my time at college.. Now, I have a boyfriend that knows of the girl who ruined me, but I never told him that she might be pregnant, and now with it being a strong possibility, it made me feel worse, as if I’ve lied to him subconsciously and I was so lost on how I was going to tell him something like this.. How the hell would he be okay with it? I should’ve told him last night when I had the chance, but I just kept it in because I wanted to believe so badly that she wasn’t pregnant, so why would I tell him such a thing when there was still a possibility of it not being true? No matter what, I always manage to dig myself into a whole and with each and every fuck up, the hole only gets deeper and the light of day keeps getting further and further away.

 

Next Chapter |

~ by SimComix on November 14, 2014.

16 Responses to “Generation 4, Chapter 9”

  1. Isaiah has the patience of a saint to put up with the roller coaster ride that is Oliver. ;) Ollie has finally found someone who makes him genuinely happy, and it seems their relationship is progressing at a pace that Oliver is comfortable with. So, of course, Jody and her issues have to come back with a vengeance and muck things up. What a bonus that Thomas jerk-face is Jody’s brother. They’re two of a kind. As if Ollie wouldn’t have enough trouble dealing with just Jody and her pregnancy! Ugh.

    • Doesn’t he? He’s just perfect for Oliver and all of his roller coaster life. XD
      True, Oliver and Isaiah are progressing as a very comfortable place for Oliver, which is exactly what he needs.
      Of course, Jody is still a factor in Oliver’s life, and even after trying to ignore her, she’s STILL part of poor Ollie’s life. He thought he had gotten rid of her, but this is just her beginning.
      Yup, Thomas is her brother. Haha I had mentioned before in chapter 3 that Jody has an older brother in Oliver’s grade, but he had never put two and two together, even though they look a lot alike. I actually just wrote in that Jody had an older brother, but didn’t realize until later how much Thomas and Jody looked alike until recently, so I made Thomas her brother. XD Same prominent blonde hair, same blue eyes, same tan.. Hahaha Yup, they’re related, and now Oliver doesn’t only have Jody to deal with. O_O
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. ‘Stop calling me cute, I’m not a baby’….’But you’re my baby….”

    I THINK MY FACE JUST BROKE AFTER READING THOSE LINES! I mean, I was already grinning maniacally all through the part with Oliver and Isaiah, but when I read THAT line I swear I came undone.

    Man I NEEDED that face breakage though because the rest of this chapter just broke my heart. Gah, Oliver! I don’t usually want to do this because I find it minimizing most of the time, but I seriously just want to scoop Oliver up and hug him and never let him go! The poor guy just can’t catch a break.

    I’m really glad that he at least has Isaiah in his life, but I’m worried that with all of this going on he’ll end up pushing him away. I mean, hopefully not, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it happened….JUST REALLY REALLY SAD.

    Ugh, I hope Jody really is just spreading rumors. I certainly wouldn’t put it past the psychopath, but I can’t say I feel confident that it’s only rumors either. It’s definitely more of a hope…a really, really, desperate hope. The last thing Oliver needs right now is a permanent connection to that monster! :(

    Gahhhhhhhh! I’m on the edge of my seat for the next chapter now, even though I’m a little worried to see what’s to come. Eep! D:

    • Awww, I’m so glad you liked that part! For a long time I was like, “wow, that sounds so fucking cheesy,” but I just put it in anyways.. LOL
      Hahaha it’s okay.. Oliver definitely needs many hugs for what he’s going through. True, he REALLY just can’t catch a break..
      It’s okay to worry about Oliver and Isaiah.. Oliver is a person that constantly thinks about every choice he makes and he honestly regrets them maybe even later on, despite him wanting it when he’s in the moment.. It’s scary to think that his happiness will be short, but he still has a few more happy chapters so come, so don’t worry.
      She could or couldn’t be spreading rumors, the next chapter will clear a lot of things up though.
      LOL So glad you’re happily (sort of) waiting for the next chapter! It’s already written, just need to make poses and get pics! ^_^
      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

      • Lol! You know, I guess it could have sounded really cheesy, and for any other couple I might have thought that, but it just works SO well for them, especially because Oliver does have a lot of qualities that, well, make you want to baby him, haha. He’s so cute, and Isaiah is certainly not blind to that fact!

        I’m glad to hear that he has more happy chapters–I’ll definitely enjoy them while I can…you know, to pad my heart for the approaching disaster. I don’t need another dose of PTSD…I am STILL struggling after that Gen 3 finale….STILLLLLLLLLL. I just want to see Gibson reunited with Oliver SO BADLY.

        Eee! Glad the chapter will be out soon enough. I’m always technically happily waiting for the next installment–dread and all! XD

        • Aww, well I’m glad it works well for them, then! I was nervous about it XD
          LOL Try to hang in there.. Enjoy happy Oliver while you can, I suppose hahaha And omg you’re still having PTSD for gen3?? LOLL That’s too funny. And regarding Gibson, I still have yet to find a place for him in Oliver’s generation, but if I ever do find a way to incorporate him, I probably will.
          LOL Well here’s hope that even through your dread/happiness, it will be worth the wait. XD

  3. OF COURSE. Jody is his little sister.

    Love this story by the way! I’ve finally managed to catch up and I can sit in the waiting room like everyone else as you write the next chapter :D

    • LOL! You know whats funny about them being siblings? I made Thomas first and he has this gorgeous blonde, shiny hair and these piercing blue eyes, and I hadn’t realized until later that I had used the same color of hair for Jody, as well as the SAME eyes for her, too, and honestly, they looked like siblings, even after making them from scratch. They just meshed? hahaha so that’s what made me think they’d be perfect for siblings.. Especially when they BOTH are an influence on Oliver. XD
      Aww, thank you! I’m so glad you like the story and that you’ve caught up! I have the next two chapter written already, so just need to make poses and get pics. Won’t be that long of a wait, I hope.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  4. Poor Olivier can never catch a break :(
    I love Isaiah and how he just wants to make Olivier happy, I just hope that Olivier doesn’t push him away now that he knows about Jody :(

    • Nope, he sure can’t. :/
      Good, I’m glad you like Isaiah! I think he’s the first personality that I’ve written so far that I really, really enjoy writing. He’s just smart, caring, determined, playful, a little bit of all worlds meshed together haha
      We’ll see soon within the next chapter how all of this information is dealt with by Oliver and how Isaiah reacts to it. :D
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  5. Awww Oliver and Isaiah are so fucking cute together, it’s ridiculous. LOL. I loved them together sleeping on the couch. Poor Oliver being a light sleeper though, I can’t even imagine having that as a regular thing because it’s like can you ever get used to sleeping with someone next to you if every little movement wakes you up?

    When he was cooking, I felt sad for him that he was trying to put himself down even when he was doing a really nice thing, the poor boy really doesn’t have a whole lot of any self esteem. *hugs Oliver* I’m hoping Isaiah can build up some of that confidence in Oliver just by showing him he cares, the more that they’re together.

    Awww, I get how annoying it is when people question your dreams. I think if Oliver wants to be a surgeon bad enough, he will find a way to get over his fear of blood. I think too, that’s such a mysterious phenomenon, like why just a little tiny blood makes some people go all queasy. I don’t know what the cause of that could be, since Oliver wasn’t actually there to see his mom get shot. I do think Isaiah was genuinely trying to point something out to Oliver without malicious intent, but at the same time, having people question your heart’s desire is a pain in the ass. I’m happy they made up and that they’re okay now.

    Ahh, so Thomas is Jody’s brother… these siblings are very similar aren’t they? In the fact that they are both giant assholes. LOL. I bet stupid Jody manipulated the situation by telling Thomas that she was the victim in her getting knocked up, if she is in fact knocked up. I could see her being a bitch and using Thomas’ already existing hate towards Oliver to give Thomas yet another reason to beat the shit out of Oliver all the time. *rolls eyes* Either way, she’s so mean. *growls*

    • ^_^ I’m glad you like them together! They compliment one another pretty well, I like shy little Oliver with a flirty, outgoing person. Yeah, it’s hard for him to sleep with Isaiah when he’s a light sleeper, it makes it hard, too, to actually enjoy it when he’s constantly waking up to keep Isaiah’s hands in check XD
      Yeah, Oliver really doesn’t have any self-esteem :/ Maybe Isaiah will be the right person to help him find some so he can stop second guessing himself for once haha
      Ahh yeah, it’s different for everyone, I suppose. I don’t get queasy when I see other people’s blood from a cut or whatever else, but I do when I see my own O_O Idk why hahaha True, Oliver wasn’t there when his mother was shot, but any numbers of things could be the reason, so there very well could be no reason for it at all, too.
      You’re right, Isaiah had no intention of making Oliver angry, but who could blame him when he’s question his career choice, something he’s worked up to be his whole life? He’s just showing his concern for Oliver, maybe even trying to get him to talk about it so he can find a way to help him with it, but Oliver closed up right away and Isaiah knew to not push it anymore.
      Yeah hahaha Jody and Thomas are a lot alike, going after the weak to make themselves feel high. Getting involved with this family would definitely not be beneficial to Oliver if Jody turns out to be pregnant. >_<
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  6. Oh my god. I read this chapter on the bus on the way to work, and literally spent about 20 minutes just staring at that second to last picture. It’s like watching the despair rush upon him, and the low is so much harder to take because he’d just come from such a high spot. I wanted to stop time there – to find something to say or something I could do for him. The next scene was too late, but I felt like if I could just stop a second before and wrap him in my arms…. T,T

    I want to tell him it’s going to be ok. I want so badly for that, but even if I were there I don’t think I could say that, because I don’t know if it’s going to be ok. I don’t know how he could really be safe from Thomas. I don’t know what he’ll do if Jody is pregnant. I don’t even know what’s going on with his relationships inside his house right now. Where is James? He just stood up Kat on something that was really important to her when they were already fighting – so is their relationship in jeopardy right now? Even if Jody isn’t pregnant, how is he going to be able to get through his year with her slandering him like this? Will it pose a risk to his residency – or whatever else he ends up deciding to do? Everything is so up in the air right now that I don’t feel like any reassurance is substantial enough to clasp on to.

    Worst yet, I’m starting to feel like I have an idea what kind of killer he’s going to be, and I don’t like it… It’s hard to even realize that Ollie will continue the curse, to come into the dawning of the obvious so abruptly like that… He was so normal, so mundane even, when compared to his predecessors.

    God, I was just sitting here smiling at his little breakthrough – the little revelation that he had because of Isaiah. It was a tough one – the realization that even the decision to become a doctor wasn’t one made because he wanted to or what was going to make him happy. I was so happy for him as he got lost in thinking of other options, and knowing that it was only going to get harder for him in the short-term as he realized that there WERE other options, that he could steer his own destiny. But that he could really blossom… Poor sweet Ollie who doesn’t realize his own potential, but who’s potential has always been so strong. He does deserve Isaiah. He deserves the world and if Gibson hadn’t abandoned him he could have had the damn world. But, in the end, Gibson was as selfish as I’ve always thought Gareth was about the affair.

    He left him behind. He could have gone to get him instead of the shit in the house. He could have tried to come back for him at some point. But that never entered into the plan. From square one he was going to start over, because Gibson could never see anything aside from his own perfect little plan. He couldn’t handle any compromise, any deviation. Even though I know he still loved his son, and never blamed him, he acted like Oliver was somehow tainted by the affair. Somehow, Oliver was no longer good enough for his life, no longer a part of the plan. I liked Gibson even though he always scared me more than his brother – because I always thought the monster in him was bigger somehow, but right now I realize that he was JUST as pathetic (if equal parts dangerous and tempting) as Gareth ever was.

    RAwr!!! If I just stay angry you can’t make me cry dang it!! T,T (Damn… Novel status again, sorry.)

    • Aww T_T Yeah, Oliver hit a pretty big low today.. A lot happened to him in a short time and it was just a little too much for him to take.. James wasn’t at school that day, either, to watch out for him/comfort him after such a downfall, too. He’s pretty alone right now. :/
      Even if you don’t know if things are going to be okay or not, still saying they’re going to be would be better than nothing. No sense in fearing the unknown when the unknown has the equal possibility of turning out good, right? This would definitely be a new low for Thomas himself, too, if what he’s saying is a lie and he’s just making up things to mess with Oliver, but really, how else would he find something like that out unless he did from his sister? Now it’s all in the matter if Jody is the one lying or not.
      Oliver’s home relationships are rather rocky at the moment, too. You’re right, Oliver skipped out on something that meant a lot to Kat and they’ve really been butting heads a lot lately, but Oliver just looks at it as if “it’s just another thing to add to the list of shit that Kat gets mad about and what I need to apologize for”. Oliver’s been growing further and further away from Kat, wants to, even, and the first step is not doing what she tells him to, and also not giving in to her. As far as it looking as if he’s being disrespectful towards her, he sees it as “slowly breaking away” and finding himself, taking other opportunities, and one of the opportunities was to spend time with Isaiah. How could he say no to him? Hahaha Kat will be angry with him, she is, actually, haha but she’ll get over it.
      OOooOOoo I’m curious as to what kind of killer you think Oliver will be, if he’s going to be a killer at all? Hehehehe
      True, Oliver has so, so much potential, he’s soooo smart, but he doesn’t really have any self-confidence to see it himself. He’s a lot more “book-smart” than he is life/street smart, so that’s why sometimes he might choose to make some pretty stupid decisions when it comes to his friends/family. It’s also because he didn’t have Gibson to teach him all of those life lessons children need while growing up.. All he had was his Uncle who barely even paid any attention to him or Camilla or even Kat.
      Hmm.. I sense a lot of resentment towards Gibson hahaha I can see why, of course, but he actually didn’t leave because he wanted to start over, he didn’t leave because he was thinking of himself, he left because he didn’t want his children on the run with him. He had just killed Hannah and crippled his brother, how could he go back and face his son when he was possibly still under a murderous influence with a malicious intent? If he went back to get them, who’s to say he wouldn’t have hurt any of them, too, especially knowing that Kat is his brother’s daughter, and so was Camilla..? Would Gibson have done something to them, too, to further his brother’s pain? How would he explain himself to Oliver? He wasn’t thinking clearly, but the clearest thought he had was to stay away from his family after what he had done. He was selfish in the fact that he left his family behind, or what was left of it, but, Gibson has always known about his insanity, or at least known that he wasn’t right in the head, so being around his son, knowing what he was and what he was capable of, wasn’t the best idea in Gibson’s eyes. Gibson did well by ignoring his urge to kill for a long time, but once he cracked, he did it to his own family, not just some strangers.. So, he also took that into consideration before finally making the decision of leaving them all behind, in fear he might eventually hurt them one day, too. Being on the run is no life for a child either, and the last thing that Gibson wants is for Oliver to turn out like him. But, little does Gibson know, it’s all in the genes regardless. I hope this clears some things up for you about Gibson hahaha ^_^
      Thanks for reading and commenting! <3

  7. I knew they were related!!! Damn and his worse fear is coming true, she’s pregnant. I don’t trust it’s his with the way she forced herself on him. She could have slept with someone else to trap him. But damn…this is bad so very bad.

    I like him and Isaiah. It’s going to be rocky as Ollie figures things out, but still it’s good that Isaiah is older and ‘wiser’ he knows to take things slow and that’s what Ollie will need.

    • Hahaha yesss, you were right! When you guessed that really early in the generation, I was like dammmnn niiiiice XD And I was waiting until you got here, too, when it was confirmed! Nice job :D

      Yeah, she’s pregnant :/ She’s so obsessed with Oliver, too, that it’s safe to assume the baby is his.

      Isaiah is pretty much perfect for Oliver in regards as to how patient and loving he is. He is exactly what Oliver needs in his life, but we’ll have to wait and see if Oliver is what Isaiah needs, too.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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